Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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