OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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