I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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