break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
