why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Holy sore nipples Batman
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
