he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
