I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
