i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
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