My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
