im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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