you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize