I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
