OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
