She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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