The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
