My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sry I called you an 8
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
