this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
