I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
