and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
