Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize