I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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