There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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