Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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