we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
