Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
