I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He called his prostate his "boner button".
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
