He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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