Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
