id be glad to
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
