I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize