My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
