Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
