Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
