WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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