i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He's a Shit stain on my heart
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
