Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
