is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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