she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
