Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
