I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
