so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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