my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
