I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
