i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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