My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
