was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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