Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
