I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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