i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize