Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
