3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
