my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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