Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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