never play flip cup with pint glasses
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Boobs speak an international language.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
