so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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