Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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