i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
