I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
