Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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