Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
